by Cynthia Germain

Thanksgiving has always been a holiday built on tradition…the same recipes, the same seats around the table, the same debates about football or pie. For a long time, that rhythm was comforting. And then, gradually or suddenly, life changes. Kids grow up and move away. Loved ones pass. Travel becomes harder. New relationships form. Old routines shift.

And one day, we look around and realize Thanksgiving doesn’t look like it used to.

For many of us in the second half of life, this isn’t a sad realization so much as a tender one. The holiday has become less about recreating the past and more about honoring where we are now. Our tables have gotten smaller, our menus simpler, our guest lists more flexible.

For some, there is an unspoken pressure, especially for older adults, to be the keeper of tradition — the host, the cook, the glue. For years, many of us wore that role like a badge of honor. But as time moves on, the responsibility of making the holiday “perfect” can become heavier than joyful.

Maybe this is the year we decide not to spend two days making pies and polishing silverware. Maybe this is the year the kids host. Maybe this is the year we pick up dinner from a local restaurant, or have a potluck, or celebrate on Friday instead of Thursday.

It isn’t “giving up.” It’s adapting. It’s wisdom. It’s care for others and for ourselves.

Another shift that comes with age is the understanding that family can mean many things. Sometimes Thanksgiving is children and grandchildren. Sometimes it’s neighbors. Sometimes it’s friends who have become our chosen family. Sometimes it’s the people who show up for us in small but meaningful ways throughout the year.

Some of the most memorable holiday meals I’ve ever had were not the picture-perfect, everybody-home celebrations. They were the mismatched ones, the years when a friend pulled up a chair, or when two families merged tables, or when we said, “If you want somewhere to be today, there’s a plate here for you.” Those meals were full of laughter, with new faces, new recipes, and new traditions.

When we strip away expectations about how Thanksgiving “should look,” we get back to what it has always really been about — belonging, gratitude, and love. A small table can be just as full as a big one. A non-traditional celebration can be every bit as meaningful as the holidays we used to know.

Maybe the most powerful part of aging is realizing that traditions aren’t meant to be preserved in amber. They’re meant to evolve, just like we do. Everybody here at Do Good Door County wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving that brings you connection and joy in whatever ways you find it.