by Cynthia Germain

I’ve heard a disturbing statement many times over the years…an older person saying “I feel invisible.”

Each time, it hits me the same way—a stark but undeniable truth about aging in our society. These aren’t just passing comments. They are confessions, said with the weight of someone who has spent days, weeks, months and even years fading into the background while the world moves past them.

Aging comes with a host of challenges—some physical, some emotional—but one of the most unexpected and painful is the feeling of becoming invisible. It happens gradually. Fewer people look your way when you walk into a room. Clerks and waitstaff attend to younger people instead of you. Your opinions are dismissed, your experiences seemingly undervalued.

For older women, this invisibility can feel especially sharp. In a society that equates beauty with youth, older women often feel as though they are no longer noticed. These are women who once led businesses, raised families, and shaped communities. And older men who spent their lives working hard, providing for others, find that when they speak, fewer people listen. I’ve heard it from people who still have so much to offer yet feel as if they have aged out of relevance.

But here’s the truth: invisibility is not a natural part of aging. It is something we, as a society, allow to happen. We do it when we assume older adults have nothing left to contribute. When we fail to make eye contact or engage them in conversation. When we don’t create spaces where their voices are heard and valued.

The antidote to invisibility is connection. It’s acknowledging people—not just with a polite nod but with genuine interest. It’s taking the time to listen, to learn, to engage. It’s recognizing that age should not be a barrier to relevance, and that the wisdom and experiences of older adults are a valuable resource.

So, the next time you see an older person sitting alone, looking past you rather than at you, remember: they want to be visible. We just have to make the choice to see them.

Because one day, we will all want to be seen too.